KanyeTweets

I hope, some day, these go down in some sort of historical record. If you were ever wondering what is going on in Kanye West’s head at times, fear not. These are actual tweets from Kanye. High school seniors should be considering the following to be their senior quotes:

“It was always sucky when my parents chaperoned me on field trips … until I was the only kid with Mcdonalds and a museum toy”

“Remember the museum plastic spaceship toys that were molded right in front of you?…. Those use to smell awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Yo being nice is my whole shit now”

“I wish I had a fashion week time machine… Gotta learn to live with regrets”

(Over a series of several tweets)
“Please don’t let girls start wearing dark lipstick again. I just think girls need to know that guys don’t really like black lipstick. I think classic red is the sexiest or no make up at all … nothing too experimental.Keep the crazy colors on the toes. Do girls even base any of they lip choices on what we like? She say… well my hairdresser like it… well tell me what your lipdresser says. And I always find something wroooong lol. I looked at the time and just thought … oh shit… it’s girls at the club right now with dark lipstick reading this…. uuuuuuuuh my bad. I think girls be trying to impress other girls with all them weird ass lip colors lol. In the studio with Jay and B. Beyonce just explained to me that lip dressers are better known as make up artist lol. Lipstick …trending topic! Lipstick’s a trending topic… this might be the lowest moment of my tweeting career hahahahahahhaaaaaa. The Dream just walked in and said …a girl gotta have a certain outfit to go with dark lipstick… some patent leather or something.”

“Man… Why is so sexy to me when I see girl pull an Ipad out her purse. Why don’t they make Macbooks that get online like the Ipad… that’s some bullshit man”

“At the crib I use really nice napkins instead of paper towels… got the idea from the YSL bathroom … waaaaay nicer”

… and that’s only going back to September 23rd. I always envision Aziz Ansari reading these tweets, which is probably what makes them so funny to me. Kinda like this bit here:

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These tweets are dope.

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